MY ABYSS

In an abyss.. 

Dismal black

Looking at some of my most horrible demons

Hiding in deep crevices I rarely visit 

As I face them,  

as I look hard at them

They look back at me fearlessly

They all seem to say

This is you too

We are you... 

Hide away in the light 

Pretend as much as you want 

But we will be right here

We won't go away

We will be here to show you

How much you still have to do

I try I fail I try again I get tired

And then I give up

Turn around, pick up the pieces

And go back to this illusion called life

Doing what I must do

Each time I fall

I try desperately to crawl out

From that deep dark abyss

and I can hear these demons call me

Laugh n mock me

These wounds that I inflict 

Will haunt me till eternity

I still look for a way to heal them

And I find nothing that's enough

I know I will have to revisit them

N keep revisiting till one of us wins 

This abyss which I visit once in a while

To return stronger or weaker 

or the other one

from which I shall never return!! 

In the deep

In the deep

The waters look so inviting, 

seemingly peaceful and serene

one can't tell the dangers they are hiding,

under the garb of promised dreams

So many must've wandered trustingly into their glory

attracted by the pull of the waves that constantly leap

and never really returned to tell their story

once they fell trying to uncover secrets these waters keep

I want to reach out too

and stay there never to return

see more under those cool blues

rather than face questions that burn

but tonight even the waters don't want me

they send me back to this world that I don't consider mine

and a little voice tells me for now I have to let it be

it just isn't the right time

I step back and make a slow retreat

to the world that waits for me ashore

unwillingly I drag my feet

n return to being alone in the crowd once more

DAWN

DAWN

*“The breeze at dawn has secrets to tell you. Don’t go back to sleep. You 

must ask for what you really want. Don’t go back to sleep.”*

– Rumi

My favourite time of the day is that hour when all is silent, all is still, 
even the birds haven’t woken up to sing their early morning song, the peace 
and quiet is palpable. The black darkness outside, interrupted in places 
faintly only by the far off lights as the moon has gone off to the other 
side of the earth and the sun is yet to make it’s first appearance, also 
depicts a strong stillness and then it slowly turns to shades of dark 
blue...which then take on various hues of orange and red and finally a 
light blue as the sun rises above the horizon. The city starts waking up 
and the silence is broken by the sounds  of birds, calling to their friends 
and mates, going about their morning search for food. It’s a new picture 
every day and I watch it all as if in a trance, in super slow motion, 
almost still, even the morning breeze that careses my face seems to do it 
with utmost love and gentleness.


It is the time when the mind is quiet too, after a night’s rest and not yet 
abuzz with the days tasks ahead nor old troubling thoughts...it may last 
only a few minutes this whole spectacle of dark to light and yet it seems 
timeless...it is a time to savour the quietude and solitude...and for a 
brief moment I feel whole. 

DREAMS

DREAMS

Dreams we dream in silence

Visions by dark we see

Truth hidden by feigned innocence

Follies that bring you to me

Thoughts in love's absence

Everything we could be

Yet we choose to live in ignorance

Me not knowing you and you not knowing me ...

I see...

I see a bit of you...

I see a bit of your face
In almost every face I see
I find a bit of you in every place
In everything that's part of me

And I go through each day
Pretending you are still there
Reaching out to you in some way
Always eager for your loving care

Life just would not be the same
If I accept you ve gone away
So I feel your presence in my name
And I believe you're always there to stay

I speak to you quietly, silently
I know you hear all that I don't say
And as you watch me from up there patiently
You will send me a sign one day

To tell me this absence this separation
May seem it but isn't really true
To tell me it's just an illusion
For you re in me n I am in you

Yes, I see a bit of you in every face I see,
n I will do so forever
I will live this life the way it was meant to be,
as if... it's a life you n I lived together!

(Miss you so...
Can't let go!)

Time to say goodbye

He asked her if she was okay...

In the same casual way she recognized of late

It wouldn't matter what she said

She remained silent
She wanted to shout out she wasn't
But the words stuck in her throat
And she simply nodded, 

Eyes turned down so he wouldn't see...
He carried on with his monologue,

And then she wondered...

would he really even see?

The flush on her face,
The lump in her chest,
The quick quiet way she answered him in monosyllables...

Were they not enough for him to notice?
And then she suddenly knew...

He wasn't looking anymore.

Twas time to say goodbye 

He would never really do it, 

So she took the last link & cut it away!

N. #2006

SOMETIMES

Sometimes,
I want to just be
the little girl I used to be

Sometimes,
I dream of those carefree years
with no limits, no regrets, no tears

Sometimes,
I just want a feeling that's new
to stop feeling so gloomy n blue

Sometimes,
I remember those words written in air
on sands, in water, just everywhere

Sometimes,
I think of love that felt so true
when I was I n you were you...

Sometimes I remember,
how just a quick glance from you
would help me get through

and now, when we're each on our own,
I think of you and me alone

I want to go back to then
and feel it all over again

I just want you to hold my hand
I just want you to understand
what I don't say, but feel for you
as I sit in silence and pretend to enjoy the view

because
when I'm with you and you with me
all else is forgotten, no worries can be

Sometimes, at those times
as you look and see the real me
in one brief moment, time stands still for eternity

...ah yes, sometimes, just sometimes...